aku percaya akan jodoh::PART II::

yahh..aku percaya akan jodoh(part II).This time i will not talk about ber'jodoh' dengan lecturer but I will share my friend's experience and mine oso(haha!).Beberapa maklumat broke-up-thingy terpaksa dirahsiakan atas sebab-sebab keselamatan diri aku supaya pada masa hadapan apabila dorang dah baca blog ni dorang takkan baling penyapu kat muka aku.

First story (dengan penoh konfiden),one girl broke up with her boyfriend and she call me (sambil nangis of cos!).After almost 7 years ber'gerek',after full planning to get engage this June and will be getting married this September,they choose to separate after going through a really really really hard time.I could be more understand their situation because i was the one yang menjadi tempat luahan hati each and every time they had a fight.Ya..mungkin tiada jodoh.

Second story (dengan mulut poret),one guy lost his fiance last raya.An ordinary guy who fall for one girl who fight for cancer.He stood still beside her girlfriend until her last breath.It does look like a malay drama as their engagement was held in a hospital,after his mother gave the ring,after so many tears streaming down his face,after he had some black-out,he saw with his own eyes the very last breath+tears+smile."Allah lebih menyayangi nya.."ayat pertama keluar dari mulut aku untuk bestfriend aku setelah sekian waktu dia berdiam menenangkan hati.

Third story (agak blur sikit cerita tok),one guy broke up with his girlfriend last night.I am not sure if i am the first person he texted in order to get some tips to forget someone.I know that he really love this woman.Maybe this guy put too much effort to ensure his 'jodoh' working.

Sebagai homosapiens,aku tak pernah tau pasal jodoh dan hanya redha atas apa yang berlaku.Mungkin aku tak pernah ambil tahu,atau aku tak nak ambil tahu,atau aku memang tak nak tahu pasal jodoh.Sungguh daif jugak pemikiran aku.haha..For one reasonable 'alasan' i have been frustrated just because my first love left me.Aku cuma berfikir kenapa harus men'complicated'kan hidup mencari jodoh sedangkan Allah sudah menetapkan jodoh buat ku."Sabar ya seri.Bagaimana engkau nak menyayangi seorang adam walhal engkau belum puas menyayangi ibu bapa mu,keluarga mu,teman-teman mu,malah diri mu?"sering aku bermonolog dengan diri ku sendiri (i have no intention to tell others 'bout my insanity..haha aku tak gila cuma lebih banyak bermuhasabah).

Belum bertemu jodoh bukan bermakna aku harus bersedih,merungut(aku benci orang merungut) dan berusaha keras mencarinya.Aku berazam nak habiskan apa yang aku telah mulakan barulah aku boleh wujudkan sedikit ruang untuk aku berfikir tentang jodoh.Aku persetankan andai ada mulut-mulut berbisa yang akan men'judge' aku sebagai seorang makhluk yang menolak jodoh.Aku tak menolak jodoh cuma aku belum bersedia ke arah itu.I am scared if i screw it up.

Jodoh itu di tangan Allah.Jangan cuba terfikir untuk memiliki hak itu.Cubalah lebih redha,redha dan redha.Lately,i felt sad just because i am dying 'rindu' my niece and nephew.Missing to watch them grow up far away from my sight.I shed my tears several times and i refuse to talk to my eldest sis because i don't want her know that i miss them.It's so awful..huhu.I am in pain,i am in vain.

Dalam hidup,tak banyak tapi sedikit mesti tercalit sedikit rasa regret atas apa yang dah aku dah lakukan.Should i called it 'stupid confession'?hurm..depends on people's judgement.To confess what is beneath your deep heart is 'sacred'.But i hate when i have this thought of 'regret'.Gosh..aku suka nya,so what?suka is not love.Belum sampai tahap ya.People plisss,do understand me,do calm me down,you people make me look crazy!"Dah..cukup-cukup emo ko ya seri.Embak ilek bah.You feelingless.." again aku bermonolog!Then i highlight this phrase from nono;"Just allow your relationships to be what they want to be"--tenkiu nono!I open my eyes widely now.My soul begging you people...

"If you listen up closely..Maybe you might hear..The beating of my heart..And the saga of my tears..."

'write down with my tears,erase sadness with a smile..i still me-- hannah...and still be who I am'